Much of my work is to help people change their focus from negative to positive. There is a bulk of research from behavior psychology, to quantum physics to spirituality that informs us, what we focus on, grows.
If we focus on the negative, of anything (from our own mistakes, to a troubled relationship, or in my case with schools, the "challenging behavior,"), it will grow. Our thought energy, and often words, will attract others' thoughts and words, and it will soon, as a teacher described it this week, "take over the room."
The switch to positive is literally that... a switch. A change of focus, thought, direction. It's subtle, mostly because we are not accustomed to checking our thoughts, but very possible. I watched it work in a cafeteria of 250 middle school students this week. The yelling to quiet them didn't work; the acknowledgement of the 30% being quiet, immediately brought the others to focus.
Try it... With anyone, in any situation. Focus on the positive and watch it grow.